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HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

Oskar on stage with the Editor of Tie The Knot Scotland Magazine

Recently, I have been tasked by the wonderful Beth from Tie the Knot Scotland Magazine to join her on stage of The Scottish Wedding Show in Glasgow on 19th and 20th February which attracted a whopping 9,719 attendees over the two days and answer some of the trickier wedding planning questions in an interview.

In today’s blog, I share with you the questions posed to me during the interview and the answers I have given to help you navigate your way around the challenges of wedding planning especially when family politics, traditions and the topic of money comes into play.

Want to find out more? You’ll need to check out the below paragraphs.


Blog by OSKAR GILCHRIST-GRODNICKI

If we haven’t met before - I’m Oskar and I’ve been involved in the wedding industry since 2009!

After 13+ years in the industry, I have run, delivered and planned over 600 weddings in my career and received 5 industry awards for excellence in my work.

Nowadays, I plan weddings in Scotland, UK, conduct legally-binding Humanist ceremonies, consult and coach wedding businesses internationally and in my spare time, I blog about all things weddings and feature as an industry speaker.

Most recently, I also partner with my husband George behind Edinburgh Wedding Directory - simply because we’re married to the job too! :)

Hit the chatbox option if you would like to talk some more today!


1.         How to ask for wedding finance support from your family?

You don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful, so do your research, set a budget and then ask parents if they would be willing to contribute to it.

Not sure how to set a budget - chatbox messages me today! I have some templates for you!


2.         How to involve your family in wedding planning and avoid misunderstandings? Including allocating roles in bridal party etc. and how to avoid disappointment e.g. if a would-be ‘bridesmaid’ doesn’t end up getting asked to be one?

Oskar discussing a wedding magazine in front of the fire at Christmas

Sit down and decide how many members of the wedding party you would ideally like to have, not just aspiration but realistic budget for outfits, hair and makeup, cars, accommodation, etc.

Additionally, having too many people involved can also carry its challenges – it is definitely something to be mindful of.

If you foresee some of the guests getting disappointed for not being given the Bridesmaid title, Best Man, etc. consider involving them in other parts of the day that won’t have as much impact on your plan such as ushering to ceremony seats, ceremony symbolic gestures, readings, reading out cards as part of the speeches, doing MC-ing duties for speeches, announcements and cake cutting/first dance.

Secondly, don’t assume everyone has the same ideas or expectations. Again, do your research, set a vision, mood-boards, budgets and outline what you’re hoping for in your wedding plan. Then communicate your vision, plans and choices to those who want to help you and assign specific roles if you want to avoid disappointment.

Would you have handled this otherwise, let us know in the comments below.


3.         How to communicate children-free wedding?

Let your guests know from the get-go including Save the Dates, so that your guests can make alternative arrangements early.

Don’t beat about the bush and be consistent if only family children are coming,

If budget, space or limited changing facilities come into play, be honest about these, your guests will appreciate knowing this in advance.

Nevertheless, if for any reason you still receive an RSVP with children on it, don’t act on emotion, relax and phone them, over the phone conversations will deflate the emotions.

What’s your opinion children at weddings or not? Let me know in the comments below.


 4.         How to request cash instead of presents?

Using cash registry website can help you with that and be specific why you’re asking for cash and how you’re going to use it - honeymoon, house deposit, house improvements, etc.

Example: “The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon.”

Example: “We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at…”

Now that’s a hot topic - how would you approach it? Chatbox message me today if you’re still not sure how to go about it!


 5.         How to tell someone who expected an invitation that they are not invited i.e. plus one’s?

My advice is not to put it off and thank them for reaching out and offer them honestly – whether that’s budget constraint, venue size, keeping the wedding to absolute minimum as funding the wedding yourselves – they’ll appreciate your honesty and appreciate your instant response.

On the other hand, if it’s a distant family member, speak to your parents, they might be able to help defuse the situation.

Will you be inviting plus one’s? Let us know in the comments below.


 6.         How to approach doing the wedding seating plan? E.g. family politics/divorced relatives at play etc.

Oskar fixing flower during wedding setup

Do it visually and don’t leave it off!

Statistically, your numbers will only drop by a maximum of 10% (give or take) from your initial guest list to RSVPs, so why would you hold off until the last minute when you’ll have so much more to work out and confirm in the final months before the wedding?

Ask your venue for samples of table layout in the room and have these printed on large paper or simply use A4 sheet per table in that same layout.

Colour coordinated tabs will help you to organise your guests into groups - top table / immediate family / distant family / friends / colleagues, etc. and play about with it, there are no wrong answers!

Having it laid out visually in front of you, will make it real and a lot easier to navigate as you can always peel and move the tabs as necessary.

Are you going to wait with your table planning until RSVPs - knowing how much planning goes into it? Give me Y for Yes and N for No in the comments.


 7.         How to avoid clashing over traditions with family?

Always relate back to their experience of wedding planning! Ask them how it made them feel when traditions were being forced on them while wedding planning! You’ll see the change instantly!

On the other hand, if your family are contributing to the wedding, remember to be empathetic and open to compromise, yet remind them politely that this is your wedding and why you believe so strongly about something.

Have you ever felt pressured to follow traditions? Chatbox messages me today if you need help navigating this sensitive subject.


8.         How to avoid others influencing your decision?

Oskar checking stright lines in the top table setup

Set boundaries from the beginning and explain your expectations and why it is so important to you!

 

Again, don’t act on emotion and be sympathetic, for example: “I’ve dreamed of this day my entire life and there are certain things I really want to do myself.”

 

Another example: “I appreciate everything you are doing, and what would really be helpful is if you took care of this thing. The rest is something that I want to do.”

Would you now assign specific and defined roles to your wedding party to avoid disappointment? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


 9.         How to compromise with your significant other half on the big decisions?

Ensure you take time to research your expectations before you start making decisions and lay them out to one another.

Creating a common wedding email address will help you to ensure you both have got the access to it and can be involved in all conversations.

If you start feeling heated about something, step back from it and review later. Don’t ever make rushed decision on an emotion! Setting “wedmin” days/times when all you do is concentrate on wedding decision making, will help you be more focused and less frantic, therefore distracted.

Finally, why not celebrate big decisions with a drink you both enjoy – wouldn’t that be lovely? Wedding planning has its challenges, so why not treat each other in the process for the challenges you overcome together!

Have you had any other ideas on how to come to an agreement when wedding planning? Let us know in the comments.


Have you found this wedding planning blog post useful?

Let us know your thoughts about this blog post in the comment below and if you’ve found this blog post helpful - share it far and wide as it is not always easy wedding planning and other wedding planning couples might find some comfort in the topics I raised here.

If you would rather watch the recording of the interview - check out the link below.

On the main stage of The Scottish Wedding Show

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING

Wanting to DISCOVER more? Book a 15 minutes FREE consultation today!

MY COUPLES' TOP WEDDING VENUE CHOICES IN SCOTLAND

MY COUPLES’ TOP WEDDING VENUE CHOICES IN SCOTLAND

Very often I am being asked for recommendations of venues and it’s always a tough one as it really depends on what you’re looking for and what your priorities are! One thing is certain, all venues I’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years know their stuff and pride themselves on executing weddings very well! They get it that this is going to be one of the most important days of your life, if not the most important day!

Now, instead of asking me for recommendations and as I appreciate many of you will be looking for your dream wedding venues in January and February, I thought to showcase to you the venues my couples most popularly choose for their special day.

Have you got your favourite venue? Tag it in the comments below.


HOPETOUN HOUSE

Hopetoun is a place of outstanding natural beauty, which has Scotland’s finest stately home at its heart. Situated on the outskirts of Edinburgh, Hopetoun is a welcoming and thriving 6,500-acre community with a great deal to offer all year round.

Hopetoun House was purpose-built in 1699 to bring families and friends together in celebration and has been a family home for over 300 years. The Hope family still live in the house and invite you to enjoy their home for your special day, with the offer of exclusive use of the Stables and Ballroom.

So why not celebrate in one of Scotland’s most iconic ballrooms, adorned with priceless tapestries and magnificent crystal chandeliers.

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration from 80 to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Hopetoun House today!

https://www.facebook.com/HopetounHouse

https://www.instagram.com/hopetounhouse

weddings@hopetoun.co.uk


DUNDAS CASTLE

Secluded in the peaceful countryside of its own 400-acre estate, yet only 8 miles from Edinburgh, Dundas Castle offers all the comforts and high standards associated with the best of hotels. The difference is – when you choose Dundas for your special event, it belongs solely to you and your guests for the duration of your stay. No other guests, no distractions.

From the medieval to the elegant, the great outdoors to the intimate indoors, there are many locations to choose from for your unique ceremony.

Continue the celebrations with a delicious wedding breakfast followed by dancing the night away. Whether you are looking for an intimate setting or a larger location, there are several options available.

With 17 charming bedrooms within the Castle, they can accommodate up to 37 adult guests and have additional beds for children.

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration up to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Dundas Castle today!

https://www.facebook.com/DundasCastleScotland

http://instagram.com/dundascastle

weddings@dundascastle.co.uk


RESTORATION YARD

Restoration Yard is a unique wedding venue set at the heart of the stunning Dalkeith Country Park. Set in a wonderfully re-imagined 18th-century stables and courtyard, Restoration Yard is the perfect space to hold your dream wedding.

The venue is located just outside Edinburgh in Midlothian. Their 1,000-acre park spans through both Midlothian and East Lothian, perfectly situated for your guests to travel with plenty of accommodation options around the venue.

Perhaps you’d like an outdoor wedding ceremony in their historic Orangery? Or to dance the night away in their restaurant, The Kitchen? The choice is yours.

Ideal wedding venue for a beautiful celebration for up to 90 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Restoration Yard today!

https://www.facebook.com/RestorationYard/

https://www.instagram.com/restorationyard

events@restorationyard.com


BROXMOUTH COURTYARD 

Once home to the Duke of Roxburgh, Broxmouth has welcomed some very well-known visitors over the years from Queen Victoria and Oliver Cromwell, to more recently Gary Barlow. This rustic, yet luxury Courtyard dating back to 1841 is currently being restored to its former beauty, in order to host some of the most excellent banquets and weddings from 2022.

Whether you’re planning an intimate ceremony or a lavish reception, Broxmouth Courtyard is the perfect venue to make your wedding day truly remarkable. With its magnificent gardens, woodland and lake, Broxmouth Courtyard offers an abundance of choices for your dream outdoor ceremony.

The Broxmouth Menu offers a plethora of luxury cuisines for you to design your own bespoke menu. And the Honeymoon suite for the wedding couple, overlooking the loch, together with a private hot tub is also included so you feel really indulged on the morning of the wedding.

At Broxmouth, the team understands that no two weddings are the same, the venue is unique as it offers you the opportunity to create the wedding of your dreams.

A newly restored beautiful venue for 100 to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Broxmouth Park today!

https://www.facebook.com/broxmouth/

https://www.instagram.com/broxmouthcourtyard

events@broxmouth.com


THE RHYND

Built well over a century ago, the Rhynd has been owned by the Foster family since the early 1950s, and up until the late 1990s, the space was a working farm. The café used to be a grain store while the event space was a cattle shed.

It is now beautifully restored with limitless potential for each couple to make it truly their own! They have kept as much of it as original as possible, so you don't need to do much if you don't want to!

The venue is super flexible with suppliers and drink/food service, there is nothing they cannot accommodate.

In addition to that, The Rhynd Farmhouse is a beautifully restored house that sleeps nine guests and is located only twenty metres away from the function spaces.

Completely your own wedding venue for up to 140 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow The Rhynd today!

https://www.facebook.com/TheRhynd/

https://www.instagram.com/therhynd/

lisa@craigiefarm.co.uk


KINKELL BYRE

Kinkell Byre, stunningly located on the coast just outside St Andrews, allows you to create your perfect event. The venue offers you exclusive hire of a converted barn, which is full of character and rustic charm. There is plenty of room inside and outside with spectacular sea views.

Kinkell Byre gives you the chance to build your own event with as much freedom as possible. The venue is a blank canvas retaining many original features. Their experienced team will give you as much or as little help and advice as you want. This allows you to really put your personal touch on your truly unique event.

The venue also offers optional hire of tables, chairs, and Chesterfield sofas directly from Kinkell Byre. Or if you love the venue but don’t want the blank canvas option, they can organise a full wedding package on request. 

Kinkell Byre is made up of separate areas which allows each part of your day to have its own space, which can all be set up in advance. There is no need for room re-setting, which helps create a relaxed flow to your day.

The average wedding here at Kinkell Byre is between 100-120 people, however, the space is extremely flexible and has hosted weddings from 60 people to 450 people.

Want to find out more? Follow The Kinkell Byre today!

https://www.facebook.com/kinkellbyre/

https://www.instagram.com/kinkell_byre

info@kinkell.com


THE OLD DR BELL’S BATHS

The Old Dr Bell’s Baths offer all-inclusive packages that are equipped and designed to remove all the stress from wedding planning!

The packages include high-quality decoration, flowing fizz and exquisite food provided by their incredible in-house catering team, the most refined touches on your event are taken care of.

The venue has one aim – to provide their couples with a perfect wedding day experience. And they achieve this by relying on their expert team!

A fabulous one-stop shop for up to 100 wedding guests!

Want to find out more? Follow The Old Dr Bell’s Baths today!

https://www.facebook.com/theolddrbellsbaths/

https://www.instagram.com/theolddrbells

events@theolddrbellsbaths.com


THE BONHAM

With beautiful event spaces full of character and luxurious decor, The Bonham is a truly luxurious venue for an unforgettable wedding day.

The team is pleased to be able to host wedding ceremonies and receptions in the Dean Suite. You can also enjoy access to the private Drumsheugh Gardens, which provide the perfect setting for your photographs.

At the Bonham, they know that it’s the little details that make your big day special and your dedicated Wedding Coordinators will be on hand to help and support you during the preparations and on your big day.

Ideal venue for a more intimate wedding hosting up to 40 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow The Bonham today!

https://www.facebook.com/thebonham/

https://www.instagram.com/bonhamhotel/

events@thebonham.com


Intercontinental Edinburgh The George

What’s in your heart for the wedding day of your dreams? A traditional Scottish occasion or maybe something more contemporary? An elaborate and traditional gathering in the majestic King’s Hall or perhaps an elegant, smaller celebration in the Forth View Suite? InterContinental Edinburgh The George can make your dream a reality. With their team of event specialists to help set the scene and plan your big day to perfection, you can be sure of a truly stunning and memorable time for you, your partner and all of your guests.

The Historic King’s Hall lends a classic scene for larger weddings celebrations including the ceremony and evening reception, where 18th-century décor with original features creates a sense of history and drama for everyone. 

The Rooftop terrace with panoramic views of the city and the Firth of Forth is unique and perfect for smaller weddings or bridal prep. Moreover, access to private manicured gardens offer a beautiful backdrop for your wedding photographs and videos.

An historic and grand New Town venue for up to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Intercontinental Edinburgh The George today!

https://www.facebook.com/IntercontinentalEdinburgh/

https://www.instagram.com/intercontinentaledinburgh

EdinburghTheGeorgeConference@ihg.com


Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh

Set in a stunning city centre location, in the heart of Edinburgh’s New Town, The Royal College of Physicians on Queen Street is a prestigious place to host your dream wedding and celebrate in style.

With a stunning choice of the New Library, Cullen Suite and the Great Hall, RCPE offers a variety of options for your ceremony and reception. The tradition and atmosphere are felt through Georgian architecture, traditional bookcases and grand pillars.

Providing a panel of well tested and professional suppliers, the Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh team will work closely with your choice of caterers to create a truly magical event.

This truly spectacular venue can hold weddings from 40 to 150.

Want to find out more? Follow Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh today!

https://www.facebook.com/rcpevenue/

https://www.instagram.com/rcpevenue

venue@rcpe.ac.uk


Doubletree by Hilton Edinburgh City Centre

This historic building is home to a renovated and contemporary wedding venue, including the penthouse with a roof terrace. Venue’s dedicated wedding coordinators will take care of every detail and make sure that you have an easy planning process.

Whether it be a grand-scale celebration or an intimate family wedding, Doubletree by Hilton Edinburgh City Centre can offer a stunning venue for your special day at the heart of Edinburgh. With a team of experienced and dedicated event planners, their personalised approach will help create the wedding of your dreams.    

From a red-carpet arrival to a beautifully decorated wedding breakfast, the team will work closely with you and recommend local suppliers to ensure that every single detail is exactly as you have imagined it. Whether you would like to say “I do” with Edinburgh Castle perfectly framed behind you in the Penthouse or dreaming of a blank canvas ideal to be tailored for your dream day in their Orchardfield Suite, Doubletree by Hilton can cater to all your needs.

For an unforgettable wedding day, you can either book their all-inclusive Wedded Bliss package or their bespoke wedding option which is as unique as you are.

This contemporary venue with Edinburgh Castle views can accommodate up to 130 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow Doubletree By Hilton today!

https://www.facebook.com/SKYbarEdinburgh

https://www.instagram.com/skybar_edinburgh

weddings@doubletreeedinburghcity.co.uk


WEDDERLIE HOUSE

This beautiful, newly renovated venue filled with peacocks and pheasants will charm you upon your first visit! Wedderlie House is an exclusive use venue, accommodating only one wedding or event at a time. This means the whole estate is yours to enjoy.

The 50-acre estate which is set around a central courtyard with atmospheric festoon lighting, the grounds that are laid out to beautiful lawns, a walled rose garden, grassy paddocks and native woodland, provide a wealth of beautiful spots for an outdoor ceremony, ensuring no two weddings will be the same.

 Two carefully restored historic barns, with exposed beams and original sandstone walls, provide the perfect blank canvas for an indoor ceremony or a more intimate wedding breakfast.

Their elegant marquee in the garden adjacent to the Stables for your wedding breakfast, with an enclosed garden is also included in your hire.

 This magical venue in the Scottish Borders can host venues for up to 140 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Wedderlie House today!

https://www.facebook.com/wedderliehouse/

https://www.instagram.com/wedderliehouse/

kamile@wedderliehouse.com


HARBOUR CHAPEL

This beautifully restored Historic Wesleyan Chapel is the oldest in Scotland and dates back to 1764. John Wesley preached in the chapel on 21 occasions and in 1770 he wrote:

“In the evening I preached at the new house at Dunbar, the cheerfullest in all the Kingdom”

This spectacular former church and elegant reception bar create an exquisite destination in which to celebrate your love.

Imagine getting married and then celebrating in an atmospheric and historic space lit by magnificent stained-glass windows originating from St Giles’ Cathedral in Edinburgh.

Complimented by oak pulpit and balcony, as well as small outdoor garden and one minute walk to the historic Victoria Harbour with castle remains, an outdoor amphitheatre and stunning panoramic views – you’ve got it all on their door step!

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration from 70 to 120 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Harbour Chapel today!

 https://www.facebook.com/theharbourchapel/

https://www.instagram.com/theharbourchapel/

info@harbourchapel.com


SONAS HOTEL COLLECTION

What can be more romantic than getting married on the Isle of Skye in the Highlands of Scotland?

Sonas Hotel Collection offers a choice of three luxury, yet intimate and boutique wedding venues - Skeabost, Duisdale and Toravaig, each with their own individual personality but all with the same warm island hospitality and a passion for sharing local produce!

Surrounded by private gardens, water and hill views, those full of historic character wedding venues are a natural oasis of peace in which to celebrate your love!

Proudly holders of 2 AA Rosette winning restaurants and Wedding Venue of the Year with Scottish Hotel Awards on many occasions, Sonas Hotel Collection offer a unique opportunity to celebrate your weddings from 20 to 100 guests and you can do so on exclusive use basis!

Would you like to Find your Happy Ever After on the Isle of Skye? Follow Skye Weddings today!

https://www.facebook.com/IsleofSkyeWeddings

https://www.instagram.com/skyewedding/

weddings@sonashotelcollection.com


WHAT’S YOUR CHOICE?

Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a look at the most popular venues my couple clients choose for their special day, but what are the venues you’re considering?

What’s important to you?

What’ informs your decision and what are your motivations?

Let’s take a minute to share your notes and help other couples make their important decision - share your opinions and tips in the comments below.

*All images used have been credited back to their authors with click-through links.

Your FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Answered

In preparation to my LIVE Interview with George from Edinburgh Wedding Directory on Thursday 15th July 2021, you have sent through a number of questions and having reviewed the most frequently asked questions in the past year, I decided to give you a snapshot of answers in my next few paragraphs below.

Are you ready to have your questions answered? Scroll down to check out what I have prepared for you this time in terms of tips and wedding planning hints!

Would you like to have a FREE 1-2-1 personalised consultation with me? Book it instantly at https://theweddingguruoskar.co.uk/wedding-planner/one-hour-wedding-planning-consultation

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WHEN SHOULD WE START OUR DAY?

Interestingly, I did cover your wedding day timeline recently in this blogpost - https://theweddingguruoskar.co.uk/wedding-planner/read-me-blog/planning-your-wedding-day-timeline

You should start your timeline from the end of the night and work your timings back.

Here is my quick formula on how to come up with a solution to this question:

Evening Entertainment – length of service? (you’d need to check with your entertainment supplier – on average 4 hours)

Would there be any comfort break after the meal? 30/60 minutes?

Speeches – if 3 x 10 minutes speeches, that’s 30 minutes

Wedding Breakfast – three course is 2 hours

Drinks Reception between 1h30mins to 2 hours (you’d need to check with your photographer)

Wedding Ceremony between 30 minutes to 45 minutes (you’d need to check with your celebrant, officiant or registrar)

Guest arrival from 30/60 minutes prior to ceremony time

Hair and makeup – will depend on the number of girls and the styling planned, an average 1h – 1h30mins per person

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HOW DO I PICK A PHOTOGRAPHER?

There are a few ways to do this – you might have already received recommendations or met a photographer you like at another event. If not, do #hashtag search for your venue on Instagram and you’ll come across portfolio of photographers images of your venue.

It is always a good idea to book a call or a Zoom appointment to check on availability, rates and general feeling for your shortlist of photographers – you want to ensure that your photography looks great, but also that you and your guests will feel comfortable.

If you’re in any more doubt – check out recent reviews on Google and listing directories, you might even book an engagement photoshoot first.

If you’re looking for recommendations, why not download My Recommended Suppliers List today?

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HOW SHOULD I VET SUPPLIERS?

If you’re new to weddings and feeling a little lost when it comes to booking wedding suppliers – check out my Six Red Flags When Booking a Supplier blog that touches upon what to avoid and look at when booking your suppliers.

You ideally want to work only with reputable suppliers on your wedding day plans, so check out their Google listing and social media. Look out for the length of service, any reviews, comments and recognitions.

Wedding venues and planners will often refer tried and tested suppliers for you to approach and believe me those recommendations comes after years of working relationships, giving you additional warranties when booking.

Are you looking for more hands-on support with booking your venues and suppliers? Have a look at my wedding planning packages – this is something I could organise for you at specially negotiated rates!

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HOW DO I PICK MY FLOWERS AND COLOURS?

This is an interesting question! If you’re asking it, you probably don’t have a set theme in mind or you’re looking for suggestions.

Now, if you’re Scottish you might want to check your family tartan colours first and see if they rock your boat… if that’s not the case, why don’t you look outside for what nature has in stock for you in the season of your wedding?

Seasonal flowers are not only perfectly matching to what you’ll observe outside on your wedding day, but they’ll also be a lot better value for money than trying to get peony roses in October 😊

Additionally, you might want to consider your venue colours and any favourite colours you like - the easiest way to identify what you like from the design is to create moodboards of style images. You’ll very quickly make most fitting choices that way?

Are you needing a wedding styling consultation? Book my one-off wedding planning consultation today!

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WHEN TO SEND OUR INVITATIONS?

There are many schools of thought on this matter.

My recommendation is that you firstly send your save the date as soon as you’ve booked your venue and set the date!

Invitations that way can be sent in the last 6 to 3 months before the wedding and this is also when you’re most likely to attend your menu tasting. Many couples don’t want to have their tasting too close to the wedding, but there is in fact a reason why venues and caterers encourage you to have your tasting as close to the wedding as possible – you’ll have a fresh recollection of it, you’ll be able to try seasonally fresh ingredients and lastly, stock levels of fresh produce are very unlikely to change in the last three months before your wedding. You must also remember that a menu tasting isn’t so much for choosing your menu, it is rather to discuss your choices with the professional Chef in terms of quantity, flavours and presentation.

Finally, I recommend avoiding big gaps between sending invitations and their RSVP deadline – the more time you give your guests, the less likely they are to deal with it instantly.

Are you looking for advice how to best collect and organise your RSVPs? Chatbox message me today and I’ll provide you with more quick and easy tips!

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HOW SOON SHOULD I BOOK MY FINAL WEDDING DRESS ALTERATIONS?

If you’re having your wedding dress bespoke made for you, your designer will schedule these appointments for you automatically, however, if you’re buying off-the-rack or online, you want to ensure you have your alternations booked in advance.

I am being told that alterations might take up to three appointments, first is the longest one, which could take up to an hour and should take place shortly after purchasing/receiving the dress.

Your fittings should normally be scheduled between 12 to 2 weeks before the wedding in incremental milestones.

Dress designers advise against buying too small dress for motivation – it’s easier to take a larger dress in than to let smaller one out.

Are you looking for a wedding dress seamstress recommendation? Chatbox message me today!

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WHAT’S THE LEGAL PAPERWORK TIMELINE IN SCOTLAND?

All wedding planning couples need to complete their notices forms and the most common form is called M10.

These notices cost £30 each and you need to submit one for each partner. There is a £10 cost for your marriage certificate, which you can request several duplicates of at £10 each – it’s good to take more then one copy as you might need to send these away to authorities if you’re changing your name following the marriage.

Marriage notices – otherwise known as M10 forms can only be lodged maximum 12 weeks before the wedding and no later than 29 days before the wedding.

Along with these forms, you will need send your birth certificates, any previous divorce decrees (if applicable), proof of address (bank statement or utility bills) and if you fall under immigration rules, you might need to supply proof of your immigration status. If you’re under the immigration rules – you’re best to submit your notices minimum 70 days before marriage.

If you’re looking for more hands-on support with completing your M10 form, book one of my one-off wedding planning consultations today.

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HOW TO PICK BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES?

Many couples find this challenging as very rarely will your Bridesmaids/Groomsmaids will be of the same size and shape and have the same tastes.

You might have already heard of the multi-tie dress options – these are ideal if you want to ensure the same colour palette and dress flow, yet give your girls plenty of options for how they want to tie the upper section of the dress – these dresses are made of stretch material, so it’s ideal for a varied size and shape wedding party.

Alternatively, you can try jumpsuits – these are very trendy at the minute and will definitely not upstage the bridal dress, additionally they are very comfortable for dancing and moving about. Most of the time these come with pockets! Added Bonus!

Finally, if you want to give your Bridesmaids plenty of freedom, why not give them one pantone colour to work with so that they are colour matching and only cover what you were planning to spend on their outfits? That way they can do the shopping themselves within your guidelines – it’s a win – win this means less pressure on you and they’ll be happy to pick an outfit that best fits within their style.

Would you be willing to give your Bridesmaids the freedom to pick their own outfits matching your chosen colour and guidelines? Comment “Y” for Yes and “N” for No in the comment boxes below.

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HOW TO BEST PLAN GUESTLIST?

If you’re finding this part of your wedding planning challenging – why not consider a couple of guest lists based on priority? If you decide to send your invites early, you might always have time to top up if your Top Priority guest’s respond with “No, I won’t be able to make it.”

If you’re already at the point of allocating your guests to tables, why not get creative? I get it – family politics might be challenging, but this can be fun, trust me!

Draw your tables on a large piece of paper – ideally flip chart size paper and bring stick on tabs - write your guests names on them. You’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll get through this and you can always move people about easily on this plan, if anything changes closer to the time, it’s just as easy as to peel the tab and place on another table – simple 😊

Would you need a hand with organising your tables? Book my one-off wedding planning consultation today!

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HOW TO BEST PLAN CATERING FOR THE MORNING OF?

This is so very important! Never underappreciate the importance of eating on the morning of your wedding – your Wedding Breakfast meal is unlikely to be served before dinner time and the last thing you want on your wedding day is to feel feint!

Good base breakfast makes a great start to a busy day!

You might not want to eat a lot such as a fry-up breakfast, but at least ensure you cover your morning catering with plenty of treats – continental buffet breakfast is ideal for that! Plenty fruit, pastries, hams, cheeses, yoghurts and cereals will ensure you’re not feeling bloated, yet you can nibble as the morning preparations get under way.

If you decide to opt in for a fry-up breakfast on the morning of your wedding - ideally you want to ensure this is first thing in the morning, so that you’re not feeling bloated and avoid this breakfast being made where you’re getting ready as the smells will penetrate the room and your outfits!

If you’re looking to book a light packed lunch, make sure it is delivered in plenty of time, so that you’re not eating last minute and already in your dress – you want to avoid any spillages before the ceremony and official photos.

Are you looking for recommendations for catering on the morning of the wedding? Chatbox message me today!

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SHOULD WE TAKE WEDDING INSURANCE?

I wish more couples asked me about this pre-Covid, yet statistics say that pre-Covid wedding insurance was rarely taken out, something many of you can’t even imagine starting to plan your wedding without.

As more and more insurers are starting to offer wedding insurance covers and policies, you shouldn’t underestimate this additional protection and not only for the pandemic, but for anything you contract for your wedding! Considering that some covers start from as little as £50.00 it is likely to be the smallest value items on your wedding budget, yet it can save you an awful lot of headache further down the line!

If you cannot take wedding insurance instantly, ensure you remain protected at all times and pay using credit card for additional protection.

Are you looking for advice on wedding insurance? Chatbox message me today!

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ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WEDDING MUST HAVE’S?

Following nearly two years of lockdown entertainment unique catering should be at the top of your priority list!

Your guests are longing for a good party and therefore if you’re going to be away for long periods of time ie. your photography, or changeovers or even transportation between venues – ensure this isn’t yet another dreaded hanging about time with nothing to do! You want to ensure that those gaps are filled in with creative and fun guest activities such games, magicians, live act music, quizzes, showstopping selfie opportunities, etc.

Catering is yet another important element of the wedding – unique catering options, full of variety is what your guests will remember and this doesn’t necessarily need to apply to your main meal, but maybe consider something different for your evening snack, that isn’t just another bacon roll display.

Being creative with the drinks will also set the tone for the day – pimp your prosecco is very cool, personalised cocktails and mocktails and theming of the bars can really make a difference to your guests experience and therefore memories.

Would you add anything else to our list of “MUST HAVE” suggestions? Comment below.

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HOW TO PLAN A WEDDING - a Guide by The Wedding Guru Oskar

“HOW TO PLAN A WEDDING?”

Recently, I’ve researched what advice wedding planning couples are most popularly looking for online and the above key term came up amongst top 10 wedding related searches online, so here is my spin on how to best plan your wedding based on over a decade of experience and 600 weddings in my career this far.

Do you want to find out more? I encourage you to scroll down now!


IDENTIFY YOUR VISION

In order to make your life easier on many levels, you must identify how you see you day and what’s important to you. Ask yourselves – what’s the big vision? Anything you must have or anything you’d rather avoid? Creating moodboards on the styles, venues, outfits, etc. can very quickly help you identify what you like and what you might not be so keen on.

This step is crucial in moving forward with your plan, otherwise, you might be going round in circles, until you understand your dream and perfect wedding day vision.

Would you know how to create your moodboards? Chatbox message me if this is something you think you’d like to learn more about.


DEFINE YOUR PRORITIES

So you say, “vision is a good focus point to have, but do I need it all?” and, I hear you!

Once you’ve identified your vision, it’ll become a lot easier for you to start defining all the elements of what’s truly important to you and what wouldn’t upset your dream wedding plan if you need to downsize or alter.

We will talk about your wedding budget shortly, but to give you an example – let’s say that as part of your vision you identified that you like big impressive entertainment, several acts, etc., yet you know that you’re also big foodies and want your guests to enjoy plenty of quality food and drink – now what’s more important to you? What can you compromise on in order not to upset your dreams if you need to make this decision?

Do you see what I mean about priorities? Have you come across this dilemma before? Give me ❤️ in the comment boxes below if you did, don’t worry we all compromise on some things 😊


CREATE A GUESTLIST

Now, this one is crucial and once you’ve got it done, it will truly help you multiple times down the line and if you can make it in a spreadsheet, that’s even better as it’ll make your life easier if you need to change or update it.

I often meet with couples to shortlist venues, catering and so on, so I ask about guest numbers and rough estimates are good, but then I ask about children or evening guests and this is where things get tricky, because these can have impact on your budgeting.

My advice is, spend one evening and write down all guests you’d like to invite, discuss with family, plan for +1s if you want to – remember this will help you not only in selecting the right venue or catering, but also with posting Save The Dates and Invitations, budgeting, assigning tables and so on… one task that will make a big difference to the rest of your planning.

If you’re looking for advice on how to best plan your guest list – head over to my blogpost on “Effective ways to plan your wedding guest list.”


CREATE AN ESTIMATE BUDGET

This is very important especially when you’re starting to plan your wedding, because in all the excitement it’s easy to make rushed decisions. You might wonder though, how will I know what’s a reasonable price and what’s not?

If you take time to assess your top wedding budget including your existing and future savings plus any contributions, this will give you a very good idea of how much you could spend on your special day.

You can then break it down into each element of your day – how do I do that – you might ask?

Head over to one of my latest blogs

“PLANNING YOUR WEDDING BUDGET - Realistic estimates that will help you stay within the budget!”

 to get an idea of costs involved in your wedding.


GET AND COMPARE SUPPLIER QUOTES

Now, let’s get the quotes! If you don’t know where to start, wedding directories and online wedding planning platforms will give you access to multiple suppliers in the same category that you can email at the same time to compare what they offer and find out their pricing – it’s a brilliant time-saving activity.

And remember, the more information you can provide about what you’re looking for, the more accurate quotes you will receive in return. Once you start receiving your quotes, you will be able to easily identify how realistic your budget is and if you need to adjust any of it.

If you’re working with venue or wedding planner suppliers, they will not only come verified by these suppliers, but they might also be offering preferential rates for referrals – so remember to always ask about these recommendations.

Chatbox message me today if you would like to find out about the suppliers I recommend and work with already.

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TRACK ESTIMATES VS. ACTUALS

Interestingly, often this is when the budget is considered done and forgotten about, while you move into finer detail planning.

My advice is to have your budget saved in a spreadsheet as a master working document that you can regularly update and keep on track of your spending. This will ensure you’re keeping within your budget as much as possible.

Why not create a column for your estimates/quotes and actually contracted values. You can also include what you’ve paid for and what’s still due to be paid. As you progress and make payments, your budget document can keep you right.

Would you like to try out one of my templates? Chatbox message me today.


BREAK YOUR DAY/DAYS DOWN

Breaking down your day or even days will help you compartmentalise the smallest of details into each individual element of your wedding.

You can start planning for what’s needed for your hair and makeup, then ceremony, and so on. If you’re planning for additional days, you will be able to identify what’s happening, and when and what you still need to organise for each event.

When wedding planning we’re all guilty of collecting little nick knacks as you shop around – I remember doing so myself when planning for George and my wedding nearly four years ago now and when you do so, you can note down which part of your day these little decorating features will compliment, you don’t want to forget about these, right?

You will also be able to note down what you still need to confirm with your venue, caterers or suppliers for each part of your special day.

Over the years, I’ve developed my own wedding planning checklist that identifies all of these events, details and questions you might need to ask yourself – would you like to try it out?

CLICK HERE to download yours today!


SORT OUT PAPERWORK

One of the most important elements of your wedding planning is the paperwork for your legally binding ceremony, so don’t forget about it and don’t leave it to the very last minute, especially if you’ve opted for a civil ceremony only, there will be nobody there to keep you right or send you reminders.

If you choose a humanist celebrant or a religious officiant, they will keep you right.

In Scotland you need to give minimum of 29 days’ notice of your intention to marry, however, don’t be too quick to do it either, because you will be disappointed to find out that notices aren’t accepted more than 3 months before your planned marriage ceremony.

These timings will depend on your location, so it might be worthwhile checking all the requirements at your ceremony destination and what paperwork you will be required to supply or even if you might be falling under any immigration checks.

If you’re looking for help and support with your M10 forms (marriage notice forms) in Scotland, chatbox message me today and I can talk you through these.


CREATE A TIMELINE

This matter is often approached the wrong way about – many couples’ perception is that you need to decide on when you want to start your day. Interestingly enough, the ceremony start will be defined by the end of your reception as you work your timings back from the end of the night – did you know that?

You need to identify how much time each event of your day takes and this will require a bit of work and communication with your venue, caterers and suppliers – watch out for my next blog as I will be offering a suggested timeline to help you out a little.

You will be asked about this wedding day timeline by almost all your suppliers in the final months before the wedding, but most importantly, you will need to have this figured out for your invitations, so the sooner you do it, the better.

Did you know your wedding day timings are worked out for the end of the night and not from your ceremony? Give me Y for yes or N for no in the comment boxes below.

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ASSIGN GUESTS TO TABLES

This is the bit that I see many couples struggling with and honestly, it doesn’t need to be that hard of a task. I recently turned this into a fun activity for my couples.

You will need a large piece of paper to map the room, your guest list, post-it tabs and markers.

Doing it visually and in colour makes all the fun and before you know it, you’ll run out of guest names. It’s fun, simple and so easy to update as you get your RSVPs.

One thing you want to avoid is leaving table planning until after your RSVP deadline as it is likely to come at a similar time when you’ll have a lot more on your mind and deadlines piling up, so do it earlier rather than later and make adjustments only when you’ve got 100% confirmation on changes.

Are you dreading this part? Would you like me to help you plan your tables and assign your guest? Chatbox message me today and we can do it together and make it fun!


COLLECT AND ORGANISE RSVPs AND PREORDERS

Now, this is the tricky bit – when do you ask for RSVPs? When is too early? When is too late?

When you know you might have a complicated multiple-choice menu pre-order – you might want to do it earlier rather than later and ideally online if possible. Online RSVPs will save you a lot of time and you will be able very clearly to see who’s accepted, who’s declined, dietary requirements and any pre-orders. Remember that if you’re using an online service that you accept only individual RSVPs especially if you need a menu pre-order.

In my experience, I often observe too big of a time-gap between invitations being sent and RSVP deadline – this unfortunately, allows your guests to put their invitation away instead of dealing with it then and there. Save the Dates are there to ensure your guests block their time off for the wedding, invitations are only a confirmation and shouldn’t take longer than a couple of weeks to one month to be collected. Don’t make a mistake of giving your guests too much time to respond and remember you will still need to organise them, double check, and potentially confirm pre-order with your caterers.

Give me ❤️ if it makes sense to shorten your RSVP deadline.


COMMUNICATE FINAL DETAILS TO ALL SUPPLIERS AND VENUE

Around one month before you wedding, you want to ensure you’ve got all your details in check and organised into a cohesive plan. You might think – surely there will be changes in the last month and yes, you’re correct, but rather than organising chaos, you’d rather update smaller things as you finalise things.

If you work with my wedding planning checklist, I highly recommend you share it with your suppliers, caterer and venue one month before and updating your changes as you go along on the form, yet communicate the updated form in the last week before the wedding to avoid loss of communication or confusion.

This might come across controversial, but you’re always best to create a list of updates and share this as infrequently as possible. In my career I’ve worked at venues with over 130 weddings each year, sometimes even 6 weddings on in the same weekend, so I understand that it’s hard for venues and suppliers to find the correct information when they are working other weddings and events, and receive several and sometimes conflicting updates in the same day – this is where errors can happen.

Wedding planning is about keeping communication organised and cohesive at all times – would you like help with your final plan to ensure you’ve got everything in check? Why not book my One-Off Wedding Planning Consultation today?


ARRANGE REHEARSAL AND FINAL DETAILS APPOINTMENT

You might think – “I’m not doing a rehearsal dinner!” and you don’t need to. What I mean here is that if you’ve not had your wedding party together for a ceremony rehearsal and they don’t fully know what they are expected to do and when, it might be a good idea to meet together in the final week before the wedding (if you can) to decide on a quick run-through of the ceremony. Some celebrants offer this at a supplement to be there and guide one practise run for you or if you’re working with me, I can help you with that!

Additionally, it is always a good idea to arrange for a final details meeting with your venue and caterers in the last two weeks before the wedding, to ensure that if there are gaps, you can still make this update to them one week before the wedding. This handover opportunity will give you peace of mind and the opportunity for the venue and caterer to ensure they clearly understand and can deliver your vision.

Chatbox message me today if you need a bit of support with the preparation to your final details’ appointment or with your ceremony rehearsal.


AGREE DROP OFF AND SETUP

Finally, make sure you arrange a time for venue drop off – you don’t want to turn up and find locked doors (especially if it’s an exclusive use venue) or even worse turn up in the middle of somebody else’s wedding… ooopps 😊

Ideally, if you need to go over anything as you drop things off, make sure you check the correct person can meet you then, so that you’re not handing over to an irrelevant person.

Finally, if you’re working with a dry hire venue, plan with them for when you or your stylists can get into setup, prepare and dress it for your special day and when things need to be collected by.

WOW this has been a long blog with a lot of advice and information – what did you think of it? Give me ❤️ if you’ve found it useful or DM me if you need help with some of the things I discussed in it.

SIX RED FLAGS WHEN BOOKING A SUPPLIER by Monica Cutler

SIX RED FLAGS WHEN BOOKING A SUPPLIER by Monica Cutler

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Lately, I have been observing quite a few engagements popping up on social media and since it’s this exciting time of the year, I thought to share something I believe to be incredibly important to know for newly engaged couples.

Following my Facebook Live interview with Monica Cutler – I remembered that she’s worked with industry experts on a guide for wedding planning couples and came up with “Six red flags when booking a supplier” which she’s agreed for me to share with you.

If you would like to find out what to look out for when booking wedding suppliers, you’ll need to check out the next six paragraphs.


ONLY OFFERING PAYPAL PAYMENT AS FRIENDS AND FAMILY

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PayPal buyer protection is not as iron-clad as it used to be. If you send a supplier money using the f&f feature you will not be covered.

 Excuses to look out for: "It will take X days to clear. If you want it before a certain date you would be better off paying f&f."

Remember that Credit Card payments may give you additional protection – would you normally pay using credit card for wedding services? Chatbox message me if you’d like to find out more.


NO WRITTEN CONTRACT

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Even if it's a friend, family member or someone you've known for years. Getting an agreement down in writing saves so much trouble and shows empathy for your future self. Get a contract and ensure there's a copy for supplier and couple.

A contract doesn't have to be complicated or full of jargon, but it should include the service you're paying for, exact payment terms, and a refund and cancellation policy. 

Have you received a contract for all your wedding services? Chatbox message me if this is something, you’d need help with.


STOLEN IMAGES

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Reverse search images to check if they're from other companies.

Most wedding professionals are comfortable using some stock imagery as fillers on their site but would never claim them as their own product. This is completely different to one wedding supplier stealing images from another and claiming them as their own.

Would you be able to identify this? Let me know in the comment boxes below.


ONLY ONE METHOD OF CONTACT

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There are many successful wedding businesses who only operate on social media, without a website.

But you should have multiple contact details, such as an email address, mobile number, postal

address. If you can only get in touch via Facebook messenger back away. If they don't have a physical postal address ask them why. This address should match any accounts you pay. 

Is this something you have given thought to before? Let me know your thoughts in the comment boxes below.


MULTIPLE NEGATIVE AND SPECIFIC REVIEWS

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If there are a small number of poor reviews ask your supplier about them. It could have been a challenging circumstance where they might have a completely sensible response to.  

If they did upset a client ask how they used the experience to move forward. No

business gets it perfect 100% of the time so always compare with their positive reviews and check the dates for their most recent customers. 

Do you normally check supplier reviews before booking? Give me YES in the comment boxes below if you do.


CHEAP PRICING

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If it looks too good to be true it probably is!

If their price is way below market value they could be brand new or not as legitimate as you would like. 

If they are a newer business make sure you talk about their level of expertise and what they are capable of delivering. If you pay for a Mini don't expect a Rolls Royce. 

Would you opt-in for a cheaper option based purely on pricing? Chatbox message me today if this is something you’d like help with in order to understand what you can expect to be paying for a specific service.