journorequest

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

Oskar on stage with the Editor of Tie The Knot Scotland Magazine

Recently, I have been tasked by the wonderful Beth from Tie the Knot Scotland Magazine to join her on stage of The Scottish Wedding Show in Glasgow on 19th and 20th February which attracted a whopping 9,719 attendees over the two days and answer some of the trickier wedding planning questions in an interview.

In today’s blog, I share with you the questions posed to me during the interview and the answers I have given to help you navigate your way around the challenges of wedding planning especially when family politics, traditions and the topic of money comes into play.

Want to find out more? You’ll need to check out the below paragraphs.


Blog by OSKAR GILCHRIST-GRODNICKI

If we haven’t met before - I’m Oskar and I’ve been involved in the wedding industry since 2009!

After 13+ years in the industry, I have run, delivered and planned over 600 weddings in my career and received 5 industry awards for excellence in my work.

Nowadays, I plan weddings in Scotland, UK, conduct legally-binding Humanist ceremonies, consult and coach wedding businesses internationally and in my spare time, I blog about all things weddings and feature as an industry speaker.

Most recently, I also partner with my husband George behind Edinburgh Wedding Directory - simply because we’re married to the job too! :)

Hit the chatbox option if you would like to talk some more today!


1.         How to ask for wedding finance support from your family?

You don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful, so do your research, set a budget and then ask parents if they would be willing to contribute to it.

Not sure how to set a budget - chatbox messages me today! I have some templates for you!


2.         How to involve your family in wedding planning and avoid misunderstandings? Including allocating roles in bridal party etc. and how to avoid disappointment e.g. if a would-be ‘bridesmaid’ doesn’t end up getting asked to be one?

Oskar discussing a wedding magazine in front of the fire at Christmas

Sit down and decide how many members of the wedding party you would ideally like to have, not just aspiration but realistic budget for outfits, hair and makeup, cars, accommodation, etc.

Additionally, having too many people involved can also carry its challenges – it is definitely something to be mindful of.

If you foresee some of the guests getting disappointed for not being given the Bridesmaid title, Best Man, etc. consider involving them in other parts of the day that won’t have as much impact on your plan such as ushering to ceremony seats, ceremony symbolic gestures, readings, reading out cards as part of the speeches, doing MC-ing duties for speeches, announcements and cake cutting/first dance.

Secondly, don’t assume everyone has the same ideas or expectations. Again, do your research, set a vision, mood-boards, budgets and outline what you’re hoping for in your wedding plan. Then communicate your vision, plans and choices to those who want to help you and assign specific roles if you want to avoid disappointment.

Would you have handled this otherwise, let us know in the comments below.


3.         How to communicate children-free wedding?

Let your guests know from the get-go including Save the Dates, so that your guests can make alternative arrangements early.

Don’t beat about the bush and be consistent if only family children are coming,

If budget, space or limited changing facilities come into play, be honest about these, your guests will appreciate knowing this in advance.

Nevertheless, if for any reason you still receive an RSVP with children on it, don’t act on emotion, relax and phone them, over the phone conversations will deflate the emotions.

What’s your opinion children at weddings or not? Let me know in the comments below.


 4.         How to request cash instead of presents?

Using cash registry website can help you with that and be specific why you’re asking for cash and how you’re going to use it - honeymoon, house deposit, house improvements, etc.

Example: “The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon.”

Example: “We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at…”

Now that’s a hot topic - how would you approach it? Chatbox message me today if you’re still not sure how to go about it!


 5.         How to tell someone who expected an invitation that they are not invited i.e. plus one’s?

My advice is not to put it off and thank them for reaching out and offer them honestly – whether that’s budget constraint, venue size, keeping the wedding to absolute minimum as funding the wedding yourselves – they’ll appreciate your honesty and appreciate your instant response.

On the other hand, if it’s a distant family member, speak to your parents, they might be able to help defuse the situation.

Will you be inviting plus one’s? Let us know in the comments below.


 6.         How to approach doing the wedding seating plan? E.g. family politics/divorced relatives at play etc.

Oskar fixing flower during wedding setup

Do it visually and don’t leave it off!

Statistically, your numbers will only drop by a maximum of 10% (give or take) from your initial guest list to RSVPs, so why would you hold off until the last minute when you’ll have so much more to work out and confirm in the final months before the wedding?

Ask your venue for samples of table layout in the room and have these printed on large paper or simply use A4 sheet per table in that same layout.

Colour coordinated tabs will help you to organise your guests into groups - top table / immediate family / distant family / friends / colleagues, etc. and play about with it, there are no wrong answers!

Having it laid out visually in front of you, will make it real and a lot easier to navigate as you can always peel and move the tabs as necessary.

Are you going to wait with your table planning until RSVPs - knowing how much planning goes into it? Give me Y for Yes and N for No in the comments.


 7.         How to avoid clashing over traditions with family?

Always relate back to their experience of wedding planning! Ask them how it made them feel when traditions were being forced on them while wedding planning! You’ll see the change instantly!

On the other hand, if your family are contributing to the wedding, remember to be empathetic and open to compromise, yet remind them politely that this is your wedding and why you believe so strongly about something.

Have you ever felt pressured to follow traditions? Chatbox messages me today if you need help navigating this sensitive subject.


8.         How to avoid others influencing your decision?

Oskar checking stright lines in the top table setup

Set boundaries from the beginning and explain your expectations and why it is so important to you!

 

Again, don’t act on emotion and be sympathetic, for example: “I’ve dreamed of this day my entire life and there are certain things I really want to do myself.”

 

Another example: “I appreciate everything you are doing, and what would really be helpful is if you took care of this thing. The rest is something that I want to do.”

Would you now assign specific and defined roles to your wedding party to avoid disappointment? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


 9.         How to compromise with your significant other half on the big decisions?

Ensure you take time to research your expectations before you start making decisions and lay them out to one another.

Creating a common wedding email address will help you to ensure you both have got the access to it and can be involved in all conversations.

If you start feeling heated about something, step back from it and review later. Don’t ever make rushed decision on an emotion! Setting “wedmin” days/times when all you do is concentrate on wedding decision making, will help you be more focused and less frantic, therefore distracted.

Finally, why not celebrate big decisions with a drink you both enjoy – wouldn’t that be lovely? Wedding planning has its challenges, so why not treat each other in the process for the challenges you overcome together!

Have you had any other ideas on how to come to an agreement when wedding planning? Let us know in the comments.


Have you found this wedding planning blog post useful?

Let us know your thoughts about this blog post in the comment below and if you’ve found this blog post helpful - share it far and wide as it is not always easy wedding planning and other wedding planning couples might find some comfort in the topics I raised here.

If you would rather watch the recording of the interview - check out the link below.

On the main stage of The Scottish Wedding Show

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING

Wanting to DISCOVER more? Book a 15 minutes FREE consultation today!

STYLED PHOTOSHOOT - Autumnal Intimate Wedding Experience

STYLED PHOTOSHOOT:

Autumnal Intimate Wedding Experience

I’ve got a very exciting project to share with you, which I’ve been working on in the background with some amazing industry partners lately.

It was following an informal coffee with Geebz Photography that an idea was born. We’ve identified that many couples who were due to get married in 2020 and early 2021 still want to go ahead with their plans on a smaller scale but often don’t know where to start when they had initially planned for a large gathering. Therefore, we’ve put our heads together to bring to you the idea of a perfect romantic elopement or micro-wedding which we believe will blow your socks off! We’re sure you’ll be impressed at how personalised and beautiful intimate celebrations can be, so stay tuned and learn more about our project below.

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STYLING

We were inspired by the natural tranquility of the autumnal and scenic Scottish countryside. From the beginning, we were keen to have our photoshoot in an iconic Scottish location that would allow us to capture the intimacy of an elopement or micro-wedding perfectly and I think we managed to achieve that and a lot more!

Lynsay Borthwick Weddings and Events beautifully dressed an arch for the ceremony with leafy fern, pondweed and autumnal florals. Setting the scene with atmospheric pillar candles, earthy moss and wood-inspired finishing touches – arranging the perfect stage for a romantic ceremony.

Lynsay has been involved in the wedding industry for nearly two years and what a breath of fresh air she brings with her. Her creative flair and enthusiasm allowed us to capture our photoshoot perfectly against a stunning backdrop, don’t you think?

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FLORISTRY

The romantic atmosphere was perfectly finished with a stunning creation of a bridal bouquet and a buttonhole from Kathrin at White House Flowers. They were both blooming with peach avalanche and black bacarra roses, asparagus fern, orange euphorbia, vintage lisianthus and eucalyptus gunni.

The colours were truly eye-catching, and perfect for our autumnal wedding theme, for the very first time, I could smell the beautiful scents of roses and botanicals used for this rich, yet natural looking bouquet – Kathrin simply never fails to impress me!

Having worked with Kathrin on many weddings over the years now, I would highly recommend her to all those couples who look for something truly special – she’ll not disappoint!

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LOCATION

From the very beginning we were keen to make the most of the Scottish scenery surrounding the stunning estate of Glencorse and we were so lucky to shoot the majority of our project inside this privately owned ‘Glencorse Old Kirk’ dating back to 17th century.

Sarah Chambers who owns the estate and is pictured here, looks after all the wedding planning couples in the lead up to the wedding, as well as on the day of delivery. She greeted us so warmly and kindly with a welcome smile and prepared for us refreshments – a true testimonial to a truly personalised and caring service this unique venue provides.

If you’re still undecided and looking for you dream venue that radiates the true Scottish spirit in every way possible – you should contact Sarah today at sarah@glencorsehouse.com

An interesting fact to mention about this stunning location is that the chapel used for our photoshoot was also used in the filming of the “Outlander” Wedding in episode 7 of the 1st season!

Can you imagine a better location for your truly Scottish elopement?

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CEREMONY

All current restrictions were taken into consideration when planning for this gorgeous photoshoot including working with the best of the best in the industry.

Mo Ackroyd (pictured) from Fuze Ceremonies helped us with the ceremony plan for the project. Mo is up-to-date with all the latest regulations and was able to instruct us on appropriate distancing for all the photography.

She’s also come up with some fantastic symbolic gestures including drinking from the quaich, hand fasting and the official exchange of rings. Humanist ceremonies definitely make weddings more personable and memorable, no matter their size.

Having worked with Mo for many years now and very often on weddings and showcases together, I know for a fact that she is loved by all her wedding couples. She emanates caring approach with all of her couples and out-of-the-box approach to performing ceremonies that is personalised, yet fun – I continue to recommend her to all my couples too!

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OUTFITS – THE DRESS

Thanks to Jade from Crystal Bows Bridal Boutique and Kyle from 8 Yards, we were able to dress our models, including Geebz Photography and I, in attire perfectly fitting for the occasion.

Don’t you just love that full-length cathedral veil over the stunning Victoria Kay dress full of lace and delicate embroidery? Our model Lynsay looked absolutely stunning in it! Can’t you spot that she played as a double act?

Crystal Bows once again didn’t disappoint – one message from me to Jade was enough for her to say: “Yes to the dress” at our photoshoot 😊 Lynsday and I were invited for a dress fitting and the dress Jade picked for us was just stunning, don’t you think? It’s the personalised touches that make a difference and even the assistant at the shop – Liz also supplied us with a gorgeous feather balero from her daughter’s wedding! There is a reason why Crystal Bows are one of the most loved Bridal Boutiques in Scotland!

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OUTFITS – THE KILT

Joel on the other hand was perfectly matched to the autumnal feeling, perfectly matching the season. For the photoshoot he wore the Hebridean Kilt range exclusive to 8 Yards in modern tartan with no specific clan affiliation and matching tie. It was complemented by a colour coordinated tweed waistcoat and jacket in addition to copper-coloured brogues and sporran.

A lot of men these days like to opt in for something a little more modern, fashionable and matching to the rest of the celebrations and with the latest range from 8 Yards – you can clearly do that! 8 Yards can provide you with a full range from matching flashies to the same tartant face masks – how cool is that? You can get kitted out from top to toe in one place and they also offer a great range of hire and ex-hire outfits too.

Don’t you think our couple looked perfectly dressed for the occasion and the theme?

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PHOTOGRAPHY

Geebz Photography is very close to my heart. For this reason Gerlof photographed my wedding to George, I know the lengths he will go to for the perfect shot! He is an outstanding photographer.

He doesn’t just shoot, he is a magician who transforms photography into a fun activity and creates a vibrant and exciting aura around him.

I’ve observed Gerlof’s master photography on many occasions. Every photo tells a story, every photo captures the moment perfectly! Its almost as if his elopement weddings were big and elaborate parties– not a micro wedding at all!

Additionally, Gerlof introduced us to Beate from BBPicture who accompanied his efforts and captured so many outstanding moments in the photoshoot – it was great observing the two working together!

After the photoshoot everyone messaged me how relaxed they felt around him. He was coming up with off-the-cuff jokes, orchestrating a  perfectly photoshoot-fitting playlist, we didn’t even realise how quickly the time passed us.

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PLANNING

I have said this many times, that I am very lucky to work with the best in the wedding industry and I am very glad that Geebz Photography and I met for that informal coffee chat – our photoshoot was organised within a short 9 days and everyone truly pulled all the stops to make it happen and make it the best possible!

It was great fun putting briefings together, sharing ideas, scheduling things in and bouncing ideas off each other. The hard work clearly paid off and everything came together creating this very special piece of work. It brings me great joy to announce to you that if you’re looking for that perfect elopement or micro-wedding and don’t know where to start, I have got it all covered for you. With the best portfolio of partners, years of experience and four wedding industry awards! If you would like to find out more, why not get in touch today for an informal chat? Who knows, we may turn your vision into a yet another stunning Outlander-worthy wedding scene!

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Massive thanks to all photoshoot partners - without your enthusiasm, vision and determination this fantastic project wouldn’t have been possible!

📷@geebz_photography

👰@lbweddingsandevents

💐@whitehouseflower

📌@glencourse_house

💕@mo.ackroydscottishcelebrant

👗@crystalbowsbridalboutique

🤵@eightyards

📷@bbpicture_photography

📋@theweddingguru_oskar