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HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING?

Oskar on stage with the Editor of Tie The Knot Scotland Magazine

Recently, I have been tasked by the wonderful Beth from Tie the Knot Scotland Magazine to join her on stage of The Scottish Wedding Show in Glasgow on 19th and 20th February which attracted a whopping 9,719 attendees over the two days and answer some of the trickier wedding planning questions in an interview.

In today’s blog, I share with you the questions posed to me during the interview and the answers I have given to help you navigate your way around the challenges of wedding planning especially when family politics, traditions and the topic of money comes into play.

Want to find out more? You’ll need to check out the below paragraphs.


Blog by OSKAR GILCHRIST-GRODNICKI

If we haven’t met before - I’m Oskar and I’ve been involved in the wedding industry since 2009!

After 13+ years in the industry, I have run, delivered and planned over 600 weddings in my career and received 5 industry awards for excellence in my work.

Nowadays, I plan weddings in Scotland, UK, conduct legally-binding Humanist ceremonies, consult and coach wedding businesses internationally and in my spare time, I blog about all things weddings and feature as an industry speaker.

Most recently, I also partner with my husband George behind Edinburgh Wedding Directory - simply because we’re married to the job too! :)

Hit the chatbox option if you would like to talk some more today!


1.         How to ask for wedding finance support from your family?

You don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful, so do your research, set a budget and then ask parents if they would be willing to contribute to it.

Not sure how to set a budget - chatbox messages me today! I have some templates for you!


2.         How to involve your family in wedding planning and avoid misunderstandings? Including allocating roles in bridal party etc. and how to avoid disappointment e.g. if a would-be ‘bridesmaid’ doesn’t end up getting asked to be one?

Oskar discussing a wedding magazine in front of the fire at Christmas

Sit down and decide how many members of the wedding party you would ideally like to have, not just aspiration but realistic budget for outfits, hair and makeup, cars, accommodation, etc.

Additionally, having too many people involved can also carry its challenges – it is definitely something to be mindful of.

If you foresee some of the guests getting disappointed for not being given the Bridesmaid title, Best Man, etc. consider involving them in other parts of the day that won’t have as much impact on your plan such as ushering to ceremony seats, ceremony symbolic gestures, readings, reading out cards as part of the speeches, doing MC-ing duties for speeches, announcements and cake cutting/first dance.

Secondly, don’t assume everyone has the same ideas or expectations. Again, do your research, set a vision, mood-boards, budgets and outline what you’re hoping for in your wedding plan. Then communicate your vision, plans and choices to those who want to help you and assign specific roles if you want to avoid disappointment.

Would you have handled this otherwise, let us know in the comments below.


3.         How to communicate children-free wedding?

Let your guests know from the get-go including Save the Dates, so that your guests can make alternative arrangements early.

Don’t beat about the bush and be consistent if only family children are coming,

If budget, space or limited changing facilities come into play, be honest about these, your guests will appreciate knowing this in advance.

Nevertheless, if for any reason you still receive an RSVP with children on it, don’t act on emotion, relax and phone them, over the phone conversations will deflate the emotions.

What’s your opinion children at weddings or not? Let me know in the comments below.


 4.         How to request cash instead of presents?

Using cash registry website can help you with that and be specific why you’re asking for cash and how you’re going to use it - honeymoon, house deposit, house improvements, etc.

Example: “The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon.”

Example: “We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at…”

Now that’s a hot topic - how would you approach it? Chatbox message me today if you’re still not sure how to go about it!


 5.         How to tell someone who expected an invitation that they are not invited i.e. plus one’s?

My advice is not to put it off and thank them for reaching out and offer them honestly – whether that’s budget constraint, venue size, keeping the wedding to absolute minimum as funding the wedding yourselves – they’ll appreciate your honesty and appreciate your instant response.

On the other hand, if it’s a distant family member, speak to your parents, they might be able to help defuse the situation.

Will you be inviting plus one’s? Let us know in the comments below.


 6.         How to approach doing the wedding seating plan? E.g. family politics/divorced relatives at play etc.

Oskar fixing flower during wedding setup

Do it visually and don’t leave it off!

Statistically, your numbers will only drop by a maximum of 10% (give or take) from your initial guest list to RSVPs, so why would you hold off until the last minute when you’ll have so much more to work out and confirm in the final months before the wedding?

Ask your venue for samples of table layout in the room and have these printed on large paper or simply use A4 sheet per table in that same layout.

Colour coordinated tabs will help you to organise your guests into groups - top table / immediate family / distant family / friends / colleagues, etc. and play about with it, there are no wrong answers!

Having it laid out visually in front of you, will make it real and a lot easier to navigate as you can always peel and move the tabs as necessary.

Are you going to wait with your table planning until RSVPs - knowing how much planning goes into it? Give me Y for Yes and N for No in the comments.


 7.         How to avoid clashing over traditions with family?

Always relate back to their experience of wedding planning! Ask them how it made them feel when traditions were being forced on them while wedding planning! You’ll see the change instantly!

On the other hand, if your family are contributing to the wedding, remember to be empathetic and open to compromise, yet remind them politely that this is your wedding and why you believe so strongly about something.

Have you ever felt pressured to follow traditions? Chatbox messages me today if you need help navigating this sensitive subject.


8.         How to avoid others influencing your decision?

Oskar checking stright lines in the top table setup

Set boundaries from the beginning and explain your expectations and why it is so important to you!

 

Again, don’t act on emotion and be sympathetic, for example: “I’ve dreamed of this day my entire life and there are certain things I really want to do myself.”

 

Another example: “I appreciate everything you are doing, and what would really be helpful is if you took care of this thing. The rest is something that I want to do.”

Would you now assign specific and defined roles to your wedding party to avoid disappointment? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


 9.         How to compromise with your significant other half on the big decisions?

Ensure you take time to research your expectations before you start making decisions and lay them out to one another.

Creating a common wedding email address will help you to ensure you both have got the access to it and can be involved in all conversations.

If you start feeling heated about something, step back from it and review later. Don’t ever make rushed decision on an emotion! Setting “wedmin” days/times when all you do is concentrate on wedding decision making, will help you be more focused and less frantic, therefore distracted.

Finally, why not celebrate big decisions with a drink you both enjoy – wouldn’t that be lovely? Wedding planning has its challenges, so why not treat each other in the process for the challenges you overcome together!

Have you had any other ideas on how to come to an agreement when wedding planning? Let us know in the comments.


Have you found this wedding planning blog post useful?

Let us know your thoughts about this blog post in the comment below and if you’ve found this blog post helpful - share it far and wide as it is not always easy wedding planning and other wedding planning couples might find some comfort in the topics I raised here.

If you would rather watch the recording of the interview - check out the link below.

On the main stage of The Scottish Wedding Show

HOW TO STAY SANE WHILE WEDDING PLANNING

Wanting to DISCOVER more? Book a 15 minutes FREE consultation today!

MY COUPLES' TOP WEDDING VENUE CHOICES IN SCOTLAND

MY COUPLES’ TOP WEDDING VENUE CHOICES IN SCOTLAND

Very often I am being asked for recommendations of venues and it’s always a tough one as it really depends on what you’re looking for and what your priorities are! One thing is certain, all venues I’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years know their stuff and pride themselves on executing weddings very well! They get it that this is going to be one of the most important days of your life, if not the most important day!

Now, instead of asking me for recommendations and as I appreciate many of you will be looking for your dream wedding venues in January and February, I thought to showcase to you the venues my couples most popularly choose for their special day.

Have you got your favourite venue? Tag it in the comments below.


HOPETOUN HOUSE

Hopetoun is a place of outstanding natural beauty, which has Scotland’s finest stately home at its heart. Situated on the outskirts of Edinburgh, Hopetoun is a welcoming and thriving 6,500-acre community with a great deal to offer all year round.

Hopetoun House was purpose-built in 1699 to bring families and friends together in celebration and has been a family home for over 300 years. The Hope family still live in the house and invite you to enjoy their home for your special day, with the offer of exclusive use of the Stables and Ballroom.

So why not celebrate in one of Scotland’s most iconic ballrooms, adorned with priceless tapestries and magnificent crystal chandeliers.

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration from 80 to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Hopetoun House today!

https://www.facebook.com/HopetounHouse

https://www.instagram.com/hopetounhouse

weddings@hopetoun.co.uk


DUNDAS CASTLE

Secluded in the peaceful countryside of its own 400-acre estate, yet only 8 miles from Edinburgh, Dundas Castle offers all the comforts and high standards associated with the best of hotels. The difference is – when you choose Dundas for your special event, it belongs solely to you and your guests for the duration of your stay. No other guests, no distractions.

From the medieval to the elegant, the great outdoors to the intimate indoors, there are many locations to choose from for your unique ceremony.

Continue the celebrations with a delicious wedding breakfast followed by dancing the night away. Whether you are looking for an intimate setting or a larger location, there are several options available.

With 17 charming bedrooms within the Castle, they can accommodate up to 37 adult guests and have additional beds for children.

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration up to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Dundas Castle today!

https://www.facebook.com/DundasCastleScotland

http://instagram.com/dundascastle

weddings@dundascastle.co.uk


RESTORATION YARD

Restoration Yard is a unique wedding venue set at the heart of the stunning Dalkeith Country Park. Set in a wonderfully re-imagined 18th-century stables and courtyard, Restoration Yard is the perfect space to hold your dream wedding.

The venue is located just outside Edinburgh in Midlothian. Their 1,000-acre park spans through both Midlothian and East Lothian, perfectly situated for your guests to travel with plenty of accommodation options around the venue.

Perhaps you’d like an outdoor wedding ceremony in their historic Orangery? Or to dance the night away in their restaurant, The Kitchen? The choice is yours.

Ideal wedding venue for a beautiful celebration for up to 90 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Restoration Yard today!

https://www.facebook.com/RestorationYard/

https://www.instagram.com/restorationyard

events@restorationyard.com


BROXMOUTH COURTYARD 

Once home to the Duke of Roxburgh, Broxmouth has welcomed some very well-known visitors over the years from Queen Victoria and Oliver Cromwell, to more recently Gary Barlow. This rustic, yet luxury Courtyard dating back to 1841 is currently being restored to its former beauty, in order to host some of the most excellent banquets and weddings from 2022.

Whether you’re planning an intimate ceremony or a lavish reception, Broxmouth Courtyard is the perfect venue to make your wedding day truly remarkable. With its magnificent gardens, woodland and lake, Broxmouth Courtyard offers an abundance of choices for your dream outdoor ceremony.

The Broxmouth Menu offers a plethora of luxury cuisines for you to design your own bespoke menu. And the Honeymoon suite for the wedding couple, overlooking the loch, together with a private hot tub is also included so you feel really indulged on the morning of the wedding.

At Broxmouth, the team understands that no two weddings are the same, the venue is unique as it offers you the opportunity to create the wedding of your dreams.

A newly restored beautiful venue for 100 to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Broxmouth Park today!

https://www.facebook.com/broxmouth/

https://www.instagram.com/broxmouthcourtyard

events@broxmouth.com


THE RHYND

Built well over a century ago, the Rhynd has been owned by the Foster family since the early 1950s, and up until the late 1990s, the space was a working farm. The café used to be a grain store while the event space was a cattle shed.

It is now beautifully restored with limitless potential for each couple to make it truly their own! They have kept as much of it as original as possible, so you don't need to do much if you don't want to!

The venue is super flexible with suppliers and drink/food service, there is nothing they cannot accommodate.

In addition to that, The Rhynd Farmhouse is a beautifully restored house that sleeps nine guests and is located only twenty metres away from the function spaces.

Completely your own wedding venue for up to 140 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow The Rhynd today!

https://www.facebook.com/TheRhynd/

https://www.instagram.com/therhynd/

lisa@craigiefarm.co.uk


KINKELL BYRE

Kinkell Byre, stunningly located on the coast just outside St Andrews, allows you to create your perfect event. The venue offers you exclusive hire of a converted barn, which is full of character and rustic charm. There is plenty of room inside and outside with spectacular sea views.

Kinkell Byre gives you the chance to build your own event with as much freedom as possible. The venue is a blank canvas retaining many original features. Their experienced team will give you as much or as little help and advice as you want. This allows you to really put your personal touch on your truly unique event.

The venue also offers optional hire of tables, chairs, and Chesterfield sofas directly from Kinkell Byre. Or if you love the venue but don’t want the blank canvas option, they can organise a full wedding package on request. 

Kinkell Byre is made up of separate areas which allows each part of your day to have its own space, which can all be set up in advance. There is no need for room re-setting, which helps create a relaxed flow to your day.

The average wedding here at Kinkell Byre is between 100-120 people, however, the space is extremely flexible and has hosted weddings from 60 people to 450 people.

Want to find out more? Follow The Kinkell Byre today!

https://www.facebook.com/kinkellbyre/

https://www.instagram.com/kinkell_byre

info@kinkell.com


THE OLD DR BELL’S BATHS

The Old Dr Bell’s Baths offer all-inclusive packages that are equipped and designed to remove all the stress from wedding planning!

The packages include high-quality decoration, flowing fizz and exquisite food provided by their incredible in-house catering team, the most refined touches on your event are taken care of.

The venue has one aim – to provide their couples with a perfect wedding day experience. And they achieve this by relying on their expert team!

A fabulous one-stop shop for up to 100 wedding guests!

Want to find out more? Follow The Old Dr Bell’s Baths today!

https://www.facebook.com/theolddrbellsbaths/

https://www.instagram.com/theolddrbells

events@theolddrbellsbaths.com


THE BONHAM

With beautiful event spaces full of character and luxurious decor, The Bonham is a truly luxurious venue for an unforgettable wedding day.

The team is pleased to be able to host wedding ceremonies and receptions in the Dean Suite. You can also enjoy access to the private Drumsheugh Gardens, which provide the perfect setting for your photographs.

At the Bonham, they know that it’s the little details that make your big day special and your dedicated Wedding Coordinators will be on hand to help and support you during the preparations and on your big day.

Ideal venue for a more intimate wedding hosting up to 40 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow The Bonham today!

https://www.facebook.com/thebonham/

https://www.instagram.com/bonhamhotel/

events@thebonham.com


Intercontinental Edinburgh The George

What’s in your heart for the wedding day of your dreams? A traditional Scottish occasion or maybe something more contemporary? An elaborate and traditional gathering in the majestic King’s Hall or perhaps an elegant, smaller celebration in the Forth View Suite? InterContinental Edinburgh The George can make your dream a reality. With their team of event specialists to help set the scene and plan your big day to perfection, you can be sure of a truly stunning and memorable time for you, your partner and all of your guests.

The Historic King’s Hall lends a classic scene for larger weddings celebrations including the ceremony and evening reception, where 18th-century décor with original features creates a sense of history and drama for everyone. 

The Rooftop terrace with panoramic views of the city and the Firth of Forth is unique and perfect for smaller weddings or bridal prep. Moreover, access to private manicured gardens offer a beautiful backdrop for your wedding photographs and videos.

An historic and grand New Town venue for up to 200 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Intercontinental Edinburgh The George today!

https://www.facebook.com/IntercontinentalEdinburgh/

https://www.instagram.com/intercontinentaledinburgh

EdinburghTheGeorgeConference@ihg.com


Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh

Set in a stunning city centre location, in the heart of Edinburgh’s New Town, The Royal College of Physicians on Queen Street is a prestigious place to host your dream wedding and celebrate in style.

With a stunning choice of the New Library, Cullen Suite and the Great Hall, RCPE offers a variety of options for your ceremony and reception. The tradition and atmosphere are felt through Georgian architecture, traditional bookcases and grand pillars.

Providing a panel of well tested and professional suppliers, the Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh team will work closely with your choice of caterers to create a truly magical event.

This truly spectacular venue can hold weddings from 40 to 150.

Want to find out more? Follow Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh today!

https://www.facebook.com/rcpevenue/

https://www.instagram.com/rcpevenue

venue@rcpe.ac.uk


Doubletree by Hilton Edinburgh City Centre

This historic building is home to a renovated and contemporary wedding venue, including the penthouse with a roof terrace. Venue’s dedicated wedding coordinators will take care of every detail and make sure that you have an easy planning process.

Whether it be a grand-scale celebration or an intimate family wedding, Doubletree by Hilton Edinburgh City Centre can offer a stunning venue for your special day at the heart of Edinburgh. With a team of experienced and dedicated event planners, their personalised approach will help create the wedding of your dreams.    

From a red-carpet arrival to a beautifully decorated wedding breakfast, the team will work closely with you and recommend local suppliers to ensure that every single detail is exactly as you have imagined it. Whether you would like to say “I do” with Edinburgh Castle perfectly framed behind you in the Penthouse or dreaming of a blank canvas ideal to be tailored for your dream day in their Orchardfield Suite, Doubletree by Hilton can cater to all your needs.

For an unforgettable wedding day, you can either book their all-inclusive Wedded Bliss package or their bespoke wedding option which is as unique as you are.

This contemporary venue with Edinburgh Castle views can accommodate up to 130 guests.

Want to find out more? Follow Doubletree By Hilton today!

https://www.facebook.com/SKYbarEdinburgh

https://www.instagram.com/skybar_edinburgh

weddings@doubletreeedinburghcity.co.uk


WEDDERLIE HOUSE

This beautiful, newly renovated venue filled with peacocks and pheasants will charm you upon your first visit! Wedderlie House is an exclusive use venue, accommodating only one wedding or event at a time. This means the whole estate is yours to enjoy.

The 50-acre estate which is set around a central courtyard with atmospheric festoon lighting, the grounds that are laid out to beautiful lawns, a walled rose garden, grassy paddocks and native woodland, provide a wealth of beautiful spots for an outdoor ceremony, ensuring no two weddings will be the same.

 Two carefully restored historic barns, with exposed beams and original sandstone walls, provide the perfect blank canvas for an indoor ceremony or a more intimate wedding breakfast.

Their elegant marquee in the garden adjacent to the Stables for your wedding breakfast, with an enclosed garden is also included in your hire.

 This magical venue in the Scottish Borders can host venues for up to 140 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Wedderlie House today!

https://www.facebook.com/wedderliehouse/

https://www.instagram.com/wedderliehouse/

kamile@wedderliehouse.com


HARBOUR CHAPEL

This beautifully restored Historic Wesleyan Chapel is the oldest in Scotland and dates back to 1764. John Wesley preached in the chapel on 21 occasions and in 1770 he wrote:

“In the evening I preached at the new house at Dunbar, the cheerfullest in all the Kingdom”

This spectacular former church and elegant reception bar create an exquisite destination in which to celebrate your love.

Imagine getting married and then celebrating in an atmospheric and historic space lit by magnificent stained-glass windows originating from St Giles’ Cathedral in Edinburgh.

Complimented by oak pulpit and balcony, as well as small outdoor garden and one minute walk to the historic Victoria Harbour with castle remains, an outdoor amphitheatre and stunning panoramic views – you’ve got it all on their door step!

Ideal wedding venue for beautiful celebration from 70 to 120 guests!

Want to find out more? Follow Harbour Chapel today!

 https://www.facebook.com/theharbourchapel/

https://www.instagram.com/theharbourchapel/

info@harbourchapel.com


SONAS HOTEL COLLECTION

What can be more romantic than getting married on the Isle of Skye in the Highlands of Scotland?

Sonas Hotel Collection offers a choice of three luxury, yet intimate and boutique wedding venues - Skeabost, Duisdale and Toravaig, each with their own individual personality but all with the same warm island hospitality and a passion for sharing local produce!

Surrounded by private gardens, water and hill views, those full of historic character wedding venues are a natural oasis of peace in which to celebrate your love!

Proudly holders of 2 AA Rosette winning restaurants and Wedding Venue of the Year with Scottish Hotel Awards on many occasions, Sonas Hotel Collection offer a unique opportunity to celebrate your weddings from 20 to 100 guests and you can do so on exclusive use basis!

Would you like to Find your Happy Ever After on the Isle of Skye? Follow Skye Weddings today!

https://www.facebook.com/IsleofSkyeWeddings

https://www.instagram.com/skyewedding/

weddings@sonashotelcollection.com


WHAT’S YOUR CHOICE?

Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a look at the most popular venues my couple clients choose for their special day, but what are the venues you’re considering?

What’s important to you?

What’ informs your decision and what are your motivations?

Let’s take a minute to share your notes and help other couples make their important decision - share your opinions and tips in the comments below.

*All images used have been credited back to their authors with click-through links.

OUTSTANDING Wedding Industry Awards 2021 - by The Wedding Emporium

I'm a little late in the game to share with you this exciting news - apologies it's been a busy few weeks recently...

I've been recognised with the OUTSTANDING Wedding Industry Award 2021 from The Wedding Emporium!

How amazing is that - it's been a hard 2020 and so far 2021 too, but I am the proudest of my amazing, resilient wedding couples that never give up! They are all fantastic and this award I dedicate to them!

It often hasn't been easy, but things are definitely looking up for weddings and I can't wait for what's to come very soon with weddings opening up again!

Cheers to you all!

P.S. Did you know that I am also now qualified as an Humanist Celebrant to conduct legally-binding ceremonies in Scotland with Fuze Ceremonies?